Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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