So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
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