These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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