Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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