I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
