i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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