You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
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He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
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It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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