after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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