i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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