if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
