Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
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My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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