STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
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The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
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I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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