"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
