i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
