what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
