I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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