ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
