I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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