just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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