Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
