they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
