Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize