what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
