i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
