Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
