CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
