the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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