I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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