1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
