laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
