It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
