her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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