dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
