He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
