If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
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Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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