I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
4 words: hood of his car
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Just invented taco cereal.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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