i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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