I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
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we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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