So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
