I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
