Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize