Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
