He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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