you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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