She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
