Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
