im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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