We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
sarcasm needs its own font
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
