stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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