I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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