oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
