I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
