How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
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But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
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I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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