All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
