U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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