This is not my ceiling
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
