I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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