I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
