i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
