i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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