I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
