I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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